We all need to learn how to let go at some point in our lives. Now, what we are letting go of will most assuredly be different for each one of us. Some will have to let go of lost love; others will have to let go of the pain of disappointment. Some of us may even have to let go of unhealthy ways of thinking about life, divinity, and one another. Sometimes we may even have to let go of good things in our lives too! It all depends upon our situation and our story! Our need to let go will be different for each one of us, for sure, but we all will have to let go sooner or later, if we haven’t had to already. The point is we all will have to wrestle with releasing someone or something at some point in our journey.
And letting go can be very difficult for a number of difficult reasons, but unless we come to grips with it we will not grow because until we let go we cannot grow.
Here’s a lesson about letting go, that may serve as some inspiration, from a very old Chinese Zen story called “The Pretty Lady.” Interestingly, this simple little story not only challenges its readers to learn how to let go, but it also challenges us to take a deeper look inward into ourselves. And what exactly are we looking for in there? Well, we are looking for two really important answers. What are the questions? Well, when I read “The Pretty Lady,” I can’t help but wrestle with the following questions: 1. Why in the world would I pick up what I refuse to put down? 2. When did I decide to actually do so? Those are two really, really good questions. I think an internal search for their answers may actually lead towards relief from those self-inflicted burdens for which we have such a penchant.
What does this very very old Chinese Zen story say to you?
Once upon a time, a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river.
There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn’t cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted.
The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. “How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?” thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.
The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.
All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.
Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. “How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite.”
The big monk looked surprised and said, “I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?”
Is you burden too big? Why do we pick up things we refuse to put down? Why do we carry these things around with us all of the time? What are we still carrying? How long have we been carrying it? Don’t you think it’s time to put it down? Isn’t it a good time to just let it go and move? Isn’t now a good time to grow? Yes. It is. First, however, we have to ask ourselves what are we carrying around with us, when did we pick it up, and why?
We all need to learn how to let go at some point in our lives. What we are letting go of will most assuredly be different for each one of us, but the act is the same. In fact, it’s universal.